"No man is free who is not master of himself."

Fragment 35 [Oldfather Trans.]

"Each time a man stands up for an ideal or acts to improve the lot of others or strikes out against injustice, he sends forth a tiny ripple of hope and, crossing each other from a million different centers of energy and daring, those ripples build a current that can sweep down the mightiest walls of oppression and resistance." - Robert F. Kennedy

"Remember that nothing is to be had for nothing."

Discourses 4.2.2 [Carter Trans.]

"Only the educated are free."

Discourses 2.1.22 [Matheson Trans.]

"Why are you concerned about things that are not your own?"

Discourses 2.13.18 [Oldfather Trans.]

"Some things are under our control while others are not. Under our control are choice and all the acts of our choice; but not under our control are the body, the parts of the body, possessions, parents, brothers, children, country--in a word, all with which we associate."

Discourses 1.22.9,10 [Oldfather Trans.]

Seek and you shall find, for nature supplies you with means to find the truth. If, with these means and no more to guide you, you cannot find the answer for yourself, then listen to those who have already made the search.

Discourses 4.1.51,52 [Matheson Trans.]

Although life itself is a matter of indifference, the use you make of it is not.

Discourses 2.6.1 [Oldfather Trans.]

When you do a thing because you have determined that it ought to be done, never avoid being seen doing it, even if the opinion of the multitude is going to condemn you. For if your action is wrong, then avoid doing it altogether, but if it is right, why do you fear those who will rebuke you wrongly?

Enchiridion 35 [Matheson Trans.]

“It is difficulties that show what men are.”

Discourses 1.24.1 [Higginson Trans.]

The subway pulled into the station. Passengers got on and off. One man who had been waiting on the platform started running towards the front of the train. People do that when they know the exit they want to use after getting off is either towards the front or the back of the station. But a moment later the car doors closed abruptly and the train began pulling away from the station. A few feet down the platform I saw the guy slowing up from his run, a very angry look on his face. He had missed the ride entirely because he wanted to save a few steps later. The moral of the story being just get on the train and don't try to be clever.
--Jonathan Carroll

“If I so wish, every omen is favorable for me; for whatever be the outcome, it is within my power to derive benefit from it.”

Enchiridion 18 [Oldfather Trans.]

“Wherever I go, it will be well with me: for even here it was not the place that made me well off, but my judgements, and these I shall carry away with me, for no one can rob me of them; these alone are my own and cannot be taken away, with these I am content wherever I am and whatever I do.”

Discourses 4.7.14 [Matheson Trans.]

“When we are hindered, or disturbed, or distressed, let us never lay the blame on others, but on ourselves, that is on our own judgements.”

Enchiridion 5 [Matheson Trans.]

“Demand not that events should happen as you wish; but wish them to happen as they do happen, and your life will be serene.”

Enchiridion 8 [Higginson Trans.]

The total amount of suffering in the natural world is beyond all decent contemplation. During the minute it takes me to compose this sentence, thousands of animals are being eated alive; others are running for their lives, whimpering with fear; others are being slowly devoured from within by rasping parasites; thousands of all kinds are dying of starvation, thirst and disease. It must be so. If there is ever a time of plenty, this very fact will automatically lead to an increase in population until the natural state of starvation and misery is restored. (River Out of Eden, p. 132.)
Richard Dawkins

We are all atheists about most of the gods that humanity has ever believed in. Some of us just go one god further.
Richard Darwkins

Fix reason firmly in her seat, and call to her tribunal every fact, every opinion. Question with boldness, even the existence of a God, because if there be one, he must more approve of the homage of reason than that of blindfolded fear. Do not be frightened from this inquiry by any fear of its consequences·neither believe nor reject anything because other persons· have rejected or believed it. Your own reason is the only oracle given you by heaven.

- Thomas Jefferson

“It is not things themselves that disturb men, but their judgements about them.”

Enchiridion 5 [Oldfather Trans.]

“Do nothing in a depressed mood, nor as one afflicted, nor as thinking that you are in misery, for no one compels you to that.”

Discourses 1.25.17 [Long Trans.]

Beannacht

BEANNACHT
(Celtic blessing)

On the day when
the weight deadens
on your shoulders
and you stumble,
may the clay dance
to balance you.

And when your eyes
freeze behind
the grey window
and the ghost of loss
gets in to you,
may a flock of colors,
indigo, red, green
and azure blue
come to awaken in you
a meadow of delight

When the canvas frays
in the boat of thought
and a stain of ocean
blackens beneath you,
may there come across the waters
a path of yellow moonlight
to bring you safely home.

May the nourishment of the earth be yours,
may the clarity of light be yours,
may the fluency of the ocean be yours,
may the protection of the ancestors be yours.

And so may a slow
wind work these words
of love around you,
an invisible cloak
to mind your life.

"Heartbreak is expressed as the distance between X, what is, and Y, the way I want things to be."

Michele Tepper

"Maturity is the ability to do something even though your parents recommended it."

Paul Watzlawick

“If the things independent of our choice are neither good nor evil, and all things that do depend on our choice are in our own power, and can neither be taken away from us nor given to us unless we please, what room is there left for anxiety.”

Discourses 2.13.10 [Higginson Trans.]

[If it was only this easy.]

The Loss of Wonder

One of the most terrible losses man suffers in his lifetime is not even noticed by most people, much less mourned. Which is astonishing because what we lose is in many ways one of the essential qualities that sets us apart from other creatures.
I'm talking about the loss of the sense of wonder that is such an integral part of our world when we are children. However as we grow older, that sense of wonder shrinks from cosmic to microscopic by the time we are adults. Kids say "Wow!" all the time. Opening their mouths fully, their eyes light up with genuine awe and glee. The word emanates not so much from a voice box as from an astonished soul that has once again been shown that their world is fully of amazing unexpected things.

When was the last time you let fly a loud, truly heartfelt "WOW"?
Not recently, I bet. Because generally speaking wonder belongs to kids, with the rare exception of falling madly in love with another person, which invariably leads to a rebirth of wonder. As adults, we are not supposed to say or feel Wow, or wonder, or even true surprise because those things make us sound goofy, ingenuous, and childlike. How can you run the world if you are in constant awe of it?

Of course there are exceptions. One need only look at the astounding success of Harry Potter, The Lord of the Rings, Star Wars, and the novels of Stephen King (the list is much longer than that, thank god), to see that people really are hungry for wonder. Still, most adults wouldn't fess up to that hunger because they don't want to admit how gorgeous it feels to sit transfixed in a movie theater or reading chair, thoroughly absorbed in a world ten times more interesting and vibrant than their own. The human heart has a long memory though and remembers what it was like to live through days when it was constantly surprised and enthralled by the world around it. Unfortunately we have been taught control, control, control all our lives by parents, society, and by our education. If you can't control something, then get rid of it or get out of it or get away from it.

Yet we know that both the heart and the imagination really are most alive when they are *not* in control of things, flying through the air without a safety net below to catch them. To live immersed in wonder means both the unknown and the thrilling surround you, as in a great love affair.

Excerpt from an introduction to the story collection, THE EMPIRE OF ICE CREAM by Jeffrey Ford

There are three things in human life that are important: The first is to be kind, the second is to be kind, and the third is to be kind.
Henry James

“When we behave contentiously, injuriously, passionately, and violently, into what have we sunk? Into wild beasts.”

Discourses 2.9.5 [Higginson Trans.]

“Nothing is so characteristic of peace of mind as that it is continuous and unhindered.”

Discourses 4.4.5 [Matheson Trans.]

“If you wish not to be disappointed in your desires, that is in your own power. Exercise, therefore, what is in your power.”

Enchiridion 14 [Higginson Trans.]

“No one is master of the ruling faculty of another.”

Discourses 4.5.4 [Carter Trans.]

“When death appears as an evil, we ought to immediately remember that evils may be avoided, but death is inevitable.”

Discourses 1.27.7 [Carter Trans.]

“A man ought to be at the same time cautious and courageous: courageous toward things which do not depend on our choice, and cautious in things which are within our choice.”

Discourses 2.1.40 [Long Trans.]

“When any person treats you badly, or speaks ill of you, remember that he acts or speaks from an impression that it is right for him to do so. Now, it is not possible that he should follow what appears right to you, but only what appears so to himself. Therefore, if he judges from false appearances, he is the person hurt; since he too is the person deceived. For if anyone takes a true proposition to be false, the proposition is not hurt, but only the man is deceived. Setting out, then, from these principles, you will be gentle with a person who reviles you; for you will say upon every occasion, ‘It seemed so to him.’”

Enchiridion 42 [Higginson Trans.]

“In the first place, condemn your bad actions; but when you have condemned them, do not despair of yourself, nor be like those poor-spirited people who, when they have once given way, abandon themselves entirely, and are carried along as by a torrent. Take example from the wrestling masters. Has the boy fallen down? Get up again, they say; wrestle again till you have acquired strength. Be affected in the same manner. For, be assured that there is nothing more tractable than the human mind. You need but will, and it is done, it is set right; as, on the contrary, you need but nod over the work, and it is ruined. For both ruin and recovery are from within.”

Discourses 4.9.14-16 [Carter Trans.]

Cherokee Blessing

May the warm winds of Heaven blow softly on your home,
And the Great Spirit bless all who enter there.

Cherokee Traveler's Greeting

I will draw thorns from your feet.
We will walk the White Path of Life together.
Like a brother of my own blood,
I will love you.
I will wipe tears from your eyes.
When you are sad,
I will put your aching heart to rest.

"We spend so much time shouting our opinions at each other, stressing our importance, that we can no longer hear those things which don't have to shout to be important."

-- Ken Masters, 1992
speaking at a congressional breakfast in Washington DC

“Never look for your work in one place and your progress in another.”

Discourses 1.4.17 [Oldfather Trans.]

The society that would give up a little liberty to gain a little security will deserve neither and lose both.
--Benjamin Franklin

“Diogenes says somewhere: ‘The one sure way to secure freedom is to die cheerfully.’”

Discourses 4.1.30 [Oldfather Trans.]

"For in the end we will conserve only what we love. We will love only what we understand. We will understand only what we are taught." --B. Dioum

“If you undertake a role which is beyond your powers, you both disgrace yourself in that one, and at the same time neglect the role which you might have filled with success.”

Enchiridion 37 [Oldfather Trans.]

“One man is not rendered unfortunate by another.”

Discourses 1.9.34 [Carter Trans.]

“God has not only fashioned you, but has also entrusted and committed you to yourself alone.”

Discourses 2.8.21 [Oldfather Trans.]

Quotes specifically for Valentines Day ... from LGBTIQ and allied voices of various ethnicities

"For death, or life, or toil,
To thee myself I join;
I take thy hand in mine,
With thee I would grow old."
-- From an ancient Chinese male-male wedding ceremony

"Everybody's journey is individual. If you fall in love with a boy, you fall in love with a boy. The fact that many Americans consider it a disease says more about them than it does about homosexuality."
-- James Baldwin

"Love takes off masks that we fear we cannot live without and know we cannot live within."
-- James Baldwin

"Penguins accept same-sex commitments. Why do some people have so much trouble with the idea?"
-- Canadians for Equal Marriage, feb 15 headline

"Where there is great love, there are always miracles."
-- Pulitzer Prize winning novelist, Willa Cather, believed by many historians to have been lesbian and who, at the very least, transgressed gender in various ways (http://www.geocities.com/Athens/Oracle/4925/Willa.html; http://mtmt.essortment.com/whowaswillaca_rlui.htm)

"Love is the big booming beat which covers up the noise of hate."
-- comedian and activist, Margaret Cho, weblog, 01-15-04. Cho is Korean-American. She's married to a man but generally, in interviews, avoids labeling her sexual orientation.

"Anyone who thinks that love needs to be cured has not experienced enough of it in their own lives."
-- Joan Garry, Executive Director of GLAAD, the Gay Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation

"Love doesn't just sit there, like a stone; it has to be made, like bread, remade all the time, made new."
-- novelist, poet, essayist, translator and children's author, Ursula K Le Guin who writes from a feminist perspective, often with gender-bending or non-heterosexual characters and who's been married to a man, Charles Le Guin, since 1953

"One Year Of Love Is Better Than A Lifetime Alone."
-- Freddie Mercury, born Farok Bulsara in Zanzibar in 1946, openly gay lead singer of the band Queen, who passed away in 1991 from complications of AIDS

"For me [marrying] is about finding that person you call home. Realizing that you're traveling with someone that at times may be behind you, beside you or in front of you. We can be completely fine with that without having to prove anything."
-- Denise Newman, discussing her upcoming wedding to Vallerie Wagner in an interview with journalist MacArthur H. Flourney in Arise magazine

"The only abnormality is the incapacity to love."
-- author, Anais Nin, who was bisexual

"It takes courage to love, but pain through love is the purifying fire which those who love generously know. We all know people who are so much afraid of pain that they shut themselves up like clams in a shell and, giving out nothing, receive nothing and therefore shrink until life is a mere living death."
-- human rights advocate and U.S. ambassador to the United Nations, Eleanor Roosevelt

"Oh! I want to put my arms arms around you, I ache to hold you close. Your ring is a great comfort. I look at it and think she does love me or I wouldn't be wearing it!"
-- Eleanor Roosevelt, in a letter to Lorena Hickok, March 7, 1933

"Love looks not with the eyes, but with the mind; And therefore is winged Cupid painted blind."
-- William Shakespeare, A Midsummer Night's Dream, Act i. Sc. 1. (Some historians believe that Shakespeare wrote love sonnets about men as well as women)

"Almost overnight, we fell in love. We liked and admired each other so much. We would stay up all night, night after night, hungry to hear each other's stories. I felt as if my soul had found home."
-- Barbara Steele

"The most successful marriages, gay or straight, even if they begin in romantic love, often become friendships. It's the ones that become the friendships that last."
-- Andrew Sullivan

"It is that deep, spiritual affection that is as pure as it is perfect. It dictates and pervades great works of art like those of Shakespeare and Michelangelo, and those two letters of mine, such as they are. It is in this century misunderstood, so much misunderstood that it may be described as the 'Love that dare not speak its name,' and on account of it I am placed where I am now. It is beautiful, it is fine, it is the noblest form of affection. There is nothing unnatural about it."
-- Oscar Wilde, at his trial

"Who, being loved, is poor?"
-- Oscar Wilde

"There is no good reason for denying these [same-sex] couples the rules, the responsibilities, and the respect of marriage. Allowing these families to be stronger is not going to take anything away from anybody else."
-- Evan Wolfson

"People...do not believe there can be tears between men. They think we are only playing at a game and that we do it to shock them."
-- author and activist, James Baldwin, who was African-American and gay

"People should not be discriminated against in the exercise of their civil rights, and the right to marry who you want to marry is one of those rights ... Interracial marriage was regarded with much the same hysteria years ago as gay marriage is today."
-- U.S. Ambassador Carol Mosely Braun, who, as far as we know, is heterosexual

"It is not the style of clothes one wears, neither the kind of automobile one drives, nor the amount of money one has in the bank, that counts. These mean nothing. It is simply service that measures success."
-- inventor, scientist and educator, George Washington Carver, who was African-American and gay

"Good parents are good parents - regardless of their sexual orientation. It's clear that the sexual orientation of parents has nothing to do with the sexual orientation of their children."
-- Former U.S. Surgeon General Dr. Joycelyn Elders, who, as far as we know, is heterosexual

"A family doesn't have to be a man, woman and children. A family can be two men or two women and children. A family can be nearly anything you want it to be as long as it is full of genuine love, respect and care."
-- Clarence J. Fluker, who is a staff person at National Youth Advocacy Coalition, Next Generation Editor for Arise magazine, and sits on the Board of Directors for DC Black Lesbian & Gay Pride, the largest annual Black pride festival in the world.

"I still hear people say that I should not be talking about the rights of lesbian and gay people, and I should stick to the issue of racial justice. But I hasten to remind them that Martin Luther King Jr. said 'Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere.' I appeal to everyone who believes in Martin Luther King Jr.'s dream to make room at the table of brother- and sisterhood for lesbian and gay people. Homophobia is like racism and anti-Semitism and other forms of bigotry in that it seeks to dehumanize a large group of people, to deny their humanity, their dignity and personhood. This sets the stage for further repression and violence, that spreads all too easily to victimize the next minority group. Gays and lesbians stood up for civil rights in Montgomery, Selma, in Albany, Georgia, and St. Augustine, Florida, and many other campaigns of the civil rights movement. Many of these courageous men and women were fighting for my freedom at a time when they could find few voices for their own, and I salute their contributions."
-- Coretta Scott King, in 1999 at the 25th Anniversary luncheon for the Lambda Legal Defense Fund.

"I still hear people say that I should not be talking about the rights of lesbian and gay people and I should stick to the issue of racial justice," she said. "But I hasten to remind them that Martin Luther King Jr. said, 'Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere.' I appeal to everyone who believes in Martin Luther King Jr.'s dream to make room at the table of brother- and sisterhood for lesbian and gay people," she said.
-- Corretta Scott King, Reuters, March 31, 1998.

"Gays and lesbians stood up for civil rights in Montgomery, Selma, in Albany, Ga. and St. Augustine, Fla., and many other campaigns of the Civil Rights Movement," she said. "Many of these courageous men and women were fighting for my freedom at a time when they could find few voices for their own, and I salute their contributions."
-- Corretta Scott King, Chicago Tribune, April 1, 1998

"Some say let's choose another route and give Gay folks some legal rights but call it something other than marriage. We have been down that road before in this country. Separate is not equal. The rights to liberty and happiness belong to each of us and on the same terms, without regard to either skin color or sexual orientation."
-- U.S. Congressman John Lewis, D-Georgia

"Something is happening to the very soul of America. It's more than same-sex marriage. It's more than whether you're gay or straight, black or white. It's about where we are going as a nation. I say this from my heart and gut, as someone who was beaten and arrested on the freedom rides. We've got some real fights ahead of us. But America is ready. So stand up tall and straight. Hold your head high. And do the work. Because we're not gonna go away."
-- U.S. Congressman John Lewis, D-Georgia

"Silence kills the soul, it diminishes its possibility to rise and fly and explore. Silence withers what makes you human. The soul shrinks, until it's nothing."
-- documentary filmmaker, Marlon Riggs, who was an African-American man and who died from complications of AIDS in 1994

"When an individual is protesting society's refusal to acknowledge his dignity as a human being, his very act of protest confers dignity on him."
-- Bayard Rustin, in his book Strategies for Freedom, p. 42

"I think that gay rights is a human rights issue like the rights of anyone else. I have said throughout my career, less known this campaign, that unless people are prepared to say that gay and lesbian people are not human -- and I don't know anyone in their right mind that would say that -- then why are they not afforded the same rights as any other human being?"
-- former U.S. presidential candidate, Rev. Al Sharpton

"To discriminate against our sisters and brothers who are lesbian or gay on grounds of their sexual orientation for me is as totally unacceptable and unjust as Apartheid ever was."
-- Archbishop Desmond Tutu, from a sermon delivered one year ago this month. Read the text of the sermon at http://www.anglicancommunion.org/acns/articles/37/50/acns3772.cfm

"We have inflicted on gay and lesbian people the tremendous pain of having to live a lie or to face brutal rejection if they dared to reveal their true selves. But oppression cuts both ways. Behind our 'safe' barriers of self-righteousness, we deprive ourselves of the rich giftedness that lesbian and gay people have to contribute ..."
-- Archbishop Desmond Tutu

“God has not only granted us the faculties by which we may bear every event without being depressed or broken by it, but, like a good king and a true father, has placed their exercise above restraint, compulsion, or hindrance, and wholly within our own control; nor has he reserved a power, even to himself, of hindering or restraining them.”

Discourses 1.6.40 [Higginson Trans.]

“A man is not indeed like a stone or a log, that you can show what he is by just pointing a finger, but you show what he is as a man, when you show what are his judgements.”

Discourses 3.2.12 [Matheson Trans.]